Susan Hasse Rockton, Illinois Illinois


I had known Susan from high school and community college and had been her confidante and friend her for a very long time. She had met my husband while he and I were dating in college. During a time when he and I had briefly separated, she had dated him. She had long been in our circle of friends as we were providing her emotional support during her time of alcohol recovery and sobriety.She started in with deeply painful emotional confessions of personal and substance abuse. As she became more intimate with her story, she must have been drawing my husband in closer and closer. Susan would spend hours telling me her sob stories and save the salacious tale for my husband. She would make excuses to me for needing his assistance, to give advice on a project or technical problems. She told him of her failed relationships and experimental encounters. I realized only years I had actually witnessed the moment she pulled him in, right in my front yard, right in front of me. When she announced one day that she could no longer be my friend I was hurt and confused. I had no idea I had done anything to warrant her decision. Little did I know what she was actually doing.Their affair lasted from September of 2000 through March of 2001. I learned later that my husband had stolen time from us when he had said he was in music rehearsals, staff meetings, or prep days from home. She would meet him at work for lunch in front of his co-workers. Although she had pursued my husband for intimate encounters, I later learned she had a very difficult time consummating them as her history of abuse made their trysts awkward and painful. It became increasingly obvious to him that the relationship was extremely toxic due to her unresolved issues and mental illness.I had a few moments when I suspected there was something happening between them. Her change in demeanor toward me was the first. The silent phone call from her telephone number another. Later the tell-tale scent of sex on my husband when I know we had not been intimate. He had always denied it. It caused me to have tremendous self doubtHe tried to end it after Christmas, but it took him until March until he was free of the involvement. Their last time together I had tracked him to her apartment and stood by his car, calling her phone from the parking lot. He immediately came out, got in his car and left. I followed him home.There are agonizing things you learn later in marriage counseling. The lapses in the relationship and judgement, the emptiness that plagued us both, the pain it caused our family. I now had a wound that took years to heal. How many other people in our very small town, including friends of my children, had seen them together and had known about their rendezvous the whole time. || I also knew she had done this to several other wives, whose spouses had been targets for Susan since her teen years. There were times I wanted them to know how damaged she was and how damaging her warped neediness was to their lives and families. I’ve never said anything to these other women, although I could very easily…

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