Al Eks – Brooklyn, New York New York

A

The woman pictured here is the worst kind of evil. While I was teaching a course on literacy education one June evening, my partner of three years decided to go to a dive bar. This soviet bar fly, with a”deadline” in mind for a baby, was there, gussied out. While they were eye fucking or whatever”man hunting low life skill” she was employing that evening, a man in the bar told her that my boyfriend was taken. Like she gave a fuck. Well, soon after, I went away for two weeks to visit my aunt who had advanced cancer. They got their fuck on while I was away. When I returned, my boyfriend started coming home at 3am, 4am, after she had fallen to her sleeping pill she had been taking. This was about two weeks after we had signed a two year lease together. He would come into bed, hug me, kiss me, make love to me, and tell me he was”out making money for us, doing extra projects.” This went on for about four more weeks, while I died in agony, until one evening I called him, particularly upset, and the worst sound I will ever hear in my life answered.”Is this ____’s girlfriend? He is in my bed. We had sex ten minutes ago. We are planning a family.” || SAY WHATTTTTTTTT My heart completely stopped. She came over to our apartment, I guess to prove I really lived there, and showed me photos of them drunk together at a bar. Great. I didn’t think I was going to go on living at that point. She told me she *might* be pregnant. This is the man I stood by when he was at his worst. This is the man I did all I could do to build up, getting him to explore the arts and poetry and his intellectual side. This was only the second man I had ever made love to, and when I met him, I was 26. This is the man who from the day we had met asked me to be the mother of his children-we were building together. He never drank a drink in front of me. Maybe I was totally naive, but I thought that were were pure soul mates. I didn’t care that there were things to be ironed out, that was part of the journey. Well ok so he came home that night and I just looked at him in the eyes. He walked out and walked back in about 10 times. He came down to the bed and hugged me. He said he loved me and didn’t want a family with anyone but me. He got in the shower. He started crying. I left the next day. I had to. He called at least 8 times a day. We fought and went crazy for over six months. I thought he was coming back, after spending an entire month with him, but then i found out this horrible little thing—SHE WAS PREGNANT! Now all babies are blessing-and I know, especially, that one born of this story, must be an angel to God. But I lost so much of my personhood, my life, my will to live, because of this woman, this situation. The man still contacts me every single day. He even came to my apartment the night the baby was born. He tells me he made mistakes, and has to stick with his child, and figure things out. I know my story is softer-seems softer- but I am not sure one individual could ever express the pain I have felt in the last year and a half in words. I know I am above this kind of thing, but, it feels good, it feels therapeutic, to put this out to the universe. Ladies, when someone is desperate for a child, they will believe anything, destroy anything, and never think about the lives they ruin in the process. Be safe out there!

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